Sunday, July 26, 2009

Hope In Action

Ever wondered what $2,000 worth of fertility meds looks like? When the relatively large box arrived at work (there was no way I was going to have such precious cargo sit on my front porch until I got home!) I was a little surprised to see how little was actually in the box.

Now in the spirit of full disclosure I should confess that there is one item missing from this picture. In addition to all the meds there was a small bag full of Hershey Kisses...they didn't last very long!

$2,000 really doesn't buy you as much as you might think, but when you look at those small vials it's hard not to imagine what might be. Even after all of these years, I can't help but wonder if this is IT, is this finally what makes our dreams come true? You hate to set yourself up for disappointment but when you see these vials it's hard not to. I mean you hear about so many people that get pregnant after using injectible meds how can your hopes not be raised?

But a little over a week after receiving our box of hope, we found out that we can't use the meds. After waiting to start the meds for several days I began to realize that something just wasn't right.

That's right! Your eyes are NOT playing tricks on you, you are looking at one very positive pregnancy test! We couldn't start the fertility meds because God had already performed His miracle! Since taking that initial test we have now had 2 blood tests and all of my hormone levels look great, nausea has begun and I can no longer brush my teeth without gagging. While I am obviously not enjoying these side affects I am overjoyed that they are happening. I have been taking great comfort in my discomfort, because it is a reminder that my body is being prepared to care for this growing child. God is so good! After all of these years of waiting, and failed medical interventions I don't think either of us ever imagined that we would get pregnant without medical intervention. We are still in shock and still overwhelmed by God's goodness!

In addition to blessing us with this precious gift, He lavished us with His love by timing everything so perfectly that the very day we found out we were pregnant was the very same day that we had, weeks before, planned to go to dinner with the Hunters (our dear friends and my Dr from Maine) We were able to tell them in person, something we never imagined being able to do since we now live so far apart! What a blessing to share that moment with such dear friends! I'll say it once again - God is good!!

Next week we get to go in for our very first ultrasound. I can't believe that in just over a week we should be able to hear our child's heartbeat! That is something we have always dreamed of but, if I am completely honest, doubted we would ever actually experience. Thank you so very much to all of you that held on to hope when we could not. Thank you for praying when we could not. Please continue to pray for us (all three of us) as we continue through this process. I wish we could tell each one of you face to face or on the phone, but since that is not possible I am very thankful for this technology which has allowed me to share my joy with so many of you at one time!